Originally appeared in Planet Jackson Hole

“The Universe does not speak English; it speaksfrequency.” -unknown

When choosing to continue upgrading consciousness, it is important to maintain an open heart and to not lower our frequency when we inevitably encounter people who are annoying, hurtful, disappointing or disrespectful. This does not mean you condone negative behavior. It is possible to keep an open heart, remain calm, still speak up and/or walk away...without being hooked. Here are some valuable perspectives for maintaining inner peace and taking the emotional high road no matter who, no matter what.

Why It Matters

The Universe only understands frequency, and we are in a constant frequency feedback loop with the Universe. It returns experiences to us based on the energies of our thoughts, feelings, beliefs and actions. By the Universal Law of Attraction, the Universe will match whatever energies we radiate. Broadcasting lower frequency energies related to fear and anger informs the Universe to respond by bringing more of the same into our experience. If you want to upgrade consciousness, you’ll want to experiment with the following big-picture perspectives about people and use them to stay on the high road.

Three Expansive Perceptions about People

1. The actions of others are not personal to you.

Even when they are directed your way or projected onto you, the actions of others are actually a reflection of what’s going on within them. This does not excuse less than considerate behavior. However, being mindful of this truth relieves you from automatically lowering your frequency to meet theirs.

If you are “hangry” or have a headache or are worried about money and are therefore being irritable toward others, your behavior is not about the other person. Likewise, if someone is being unfriendly, barring any rudeness on your part, it’s not about you. You can safely assume something in their world is troubling them. That’s the “let go” moment.

Energy is frequency transmitted invisibly and it is reacted to with or without accompanying words. When you are able to replace your automatic aggravation response with compassion for the other person, you’ll be maintaining your positive frequency, which might even help them to feel better.

2. Learn to accept people as they are.

Acceptance means to neither condemn nor condone. We’d like to think our job is to fix everyone. This is a false assumption, which typically backfires. Broadcasting that we want a person to change, comes across to them as saying they are not okay and not enough. That message feels awful and sends a person into resist, defend and/or attack mode. If we react to their reactivity, then we are down the frequency tubes as well.

People change if /when they want to embark on that personal work. It is always more productive to focus instead on your own evolution. That keeps your frequency high. The byproduct of upgrading yourself often inspires others to make their own positive shifts.

3. Everyone is doing the best they can with their givens.

Everyone is in a different place on the same journey to eventually free themselves from limiting physical, emotional, mental and spiritual patterning that they have accumulated along the way in this and other lifetimes.

Old patterns block your ability to step into your higher potential as an individual and for all of us as a collective. It is no small feat to identify, acknowledge, heal and release aspects that no longer serve your greater good. It is no small feat to align body, mind and soul in this reality and be able to live from the love and wisdom of your soul. Thankfully you are also given all you need in the “software” of your current life to move forward in the process.

Free will is a gift we all have which allows us to choose the high road, to operate from higher frequencies as consistently as possible, and to therefore evolve with more grace and ease no matter what is going on. As you develop your evolutionary tool kit, please be sure to include regular doses of self-love and self-compassion along the way.